Alcoholism, no matter how it is fought on a global level, is widespread across the planet. This is one of the key causes of mortality and various diseases – which is not surprising if you recall how dangerous this problem is. But this does not prevent people from constantly resorting to the use of various strong drinks, and therefore problems only multiply. And they act not only on each person individually, but also on those associated with him. As soon as the problem of alcoholism arises, it entails many other problems associated with a person who suffers from addiction through a chain reaction. And first of all, children born to parents of alcoholics suffer. And we are talking not only about the kids, who, of course, also very much “get”. Even adult children of alcoholics are at very high risk, although many do not immediately notice the presence of this serious problem. But, given the scale of alcoholism, it can be understood that a very large number of sons and daughters are just in this category. So what dangers does the life of such children conceal in itself, and what kind of trials can fall upon their hard part?
Adult children of alcohol addicts have not only psychological problems – they can also be noticed by distinctive visual signs, because children in heavy alcoholics look a little different. Here are some visual signs that the child’s parents were abusing alcohol:
- they are often born deaf or dumb;
- they may have a not very pronounced nasolabial fold;
- they are often born with a reduced upper jaw and a thin upper lip;
- their hard and soft palate may have defects;
- their noses are wide, flat, large;
- their eyes are narrow, and the upper eyelid is pronounced.
Of course, these signs do not necessarily appear, but these are typical consequences of pathologies that occur when parents “lean heavily” on alcoholic beverages.
But the main problems are still in the field of psychology. And here, adult children of alcoholics have an impressive number of different deviations, which were formed under the influence of the general background that takes place in their family.
First of all, such people have certain deviations that prevent them from being normal members of society, prevent them from forming families, building friendships, and so on. These signs include:
- very low self-esteem, a large share of criticality in relation to oneself;
- a feeling of guilt for all the problems and failures that occur with them and not only;
- a very strong and extremely painful reaction to the opinions of others;
- inability to show their emotions, as well as their dull perception;
- inability to accept help, but at the same time, inability to gather strength and resolve a difficult situation and take any decisive action when required.
It is this set of symptoms in modern psychology that is called the term VDA (more than one book has been written about this), that is, adult children of parents of alcoholics. Alas, these are not isolated cases, this is a large share of demography – and we can say that such people are constantly becoming more and more.
It unites these people, makes them so general, the dysfunctional psychological background in which they grew up. The physiological pathologies described above are not so terrible (with some exceptions), but psychological problems are very, very global. And it all starts with the fact that these children feel like orphans with their parents alive. He needs support, he needs love, he needs attention. But in the end, he sees only the negative processes taking place in the family and begins to blame himself.
The child is still trying somehow to earn honest sympathy from his parents, but only feels rejection. He no longer knows what to do to be encouraged and is trying to somehow adapt to the situation – for all this comes out differently. His character, the general psychology of development may as a result go in different directions, but the fact that something goes wrong is a fact confirmed by research.
The high likelihood of problems in these children is confirmed by statistics. About 70% of adult sons of alcoholics also subsequently had an unhealthy addiction to alcohol. For girls, this figure reaches 15%. About 17% of sons and 5% of daughters are prone to addiction. To psychopathy – 32% of sons and 30% of daughters. 7% of sons and more than 8% of daughters are prone to neurosis. Only every fifth child born in a problem family, where someone is an alcoholic, does not have any psychopathological disorders – and this is very small.
What to do?
In fact, there are not very many exits for such people. It is best to turn to a psychologist who will help to deal with the situation, minimizing the impact of complexes and psychological problems on a person’s life. There are also various support groups that focus on children raised in a similar or some other dysfunctional setting. The help of other people will help you find a way out of this psychological stupor – and begin to live with satisfaction and joy from everything that surrounds you in everyday life. And aren’t adult children of alcohol addicts dreaming about this?